Lost Generation... Dedicated to my city, Detroit

Dedicated to my city, Detroit!  I refuse to believe that we are a part of a lost generation. 

A Parent's Pact

I am not sure if this was God speaking to me, or my mother whispering in my ear, but I feel really supported right now.  After all the lies, the people using and preying on my sister and I, and after years of trying to separate the "real" from the "fake", I think I finally get "it".  I have realized that I have issues, especially when it comes to trust.  As encouraged by my mother, I don't trust people as far as I can throw them, not family, not friends, and definitely not strangers.

My entire life, it has been just my mother, my sister and I living together.  Growing up, all my "family" in Detroit was really my church-family, and all my blood-kin was out of town.  I loved going out of town to visit, it's nothing like being around your family and people going "you just just like such-and-such" or going to Chicago and all of my cousin's friends mistaking me for her because we resembled each other so well.  However, when I returned back to Detroit, I would feel alone because I wasn't really around people who looked and sounded like me.  It was always difficult for me to define "family" because it wasn't always necessarily my blood-relatives I was around, but the family God placed in our lives.

The title of this post is "A Parent's Pact" and I could compare it to similar pacts groups of friends/families make.  Even though I do not have proof, I feel deep down in my heart that my momma made a pact with her cousins and some of my church family, and I believe she asked them to take care of me and my sister if anything happened to her.  This may have been when we were younger since she was a single parent, however I believe they are still holding to their pact even today.  To be 24 years old and an adult for approximately 6 years, I actually feel like I have real family that care about me, look out for me, and are genuinely happy for my success!  I think she agreed to do the same for our other cousins and I know that she would.  However, it really touches my heart to be surrounded by real family that is bonded together by blood and also by love.

Can Men and Women really be "Friends"?

Can heterosexual men and women really be just "friends"? Many have answered this question and most people reply "no".  As I dive deeper into this topic, let me first introduce you to a couple guys in my life:

Above are pictures of myself and three of my close male friends, (top) Jersey, (middle) Ceej, (lower) Kasey P.  I met all of these fine gentlemen while in college at BGSU.  I met Jersey the first week of my freshman year, Ceej, my Junior year, and Kasey my 2nd senior year. They have all served in big brother roles since I've met them and we have always had each other's backs... I am (and my friends are) Ride or Die! They are great men; very intelligent, goal-oriented and Black men on a mission to achieve greatness.

We have never ever kissed, touched, rubbed, flirted, none of that and I am 98.72% sure that we never will in this lifetime. I know most people probably say "eventually, one of them will catch feelings and want to take the friendship to another level" or "that's my 'best friend/brother' which 89.4% of the time translates to an F- buddy" when thinking of heterosexual men and women being "just friends".  Such statements are true, but I'm here to break the mold.

Based on empirical evidence (mainly from myself), heterosexual men and women CAN be "just friends".  Thinking about it in a different context, men and women can be friends, strictly platonic, however the real question is "how long can heterosexual men and women be friends?"

I say this because ideally, we would get married and our friendships would have to change.  Disregarding the notion that men and women cannot be "just friends" and movies like Brown Sugar, Love and Basketball, even in situations where both parties are secure, opposite sex friendships must alter out of respect to the other partner.  The opposite sex "best friend"has to go or fall back once the relationship thickens.  Once we are married, our spouses our to be our best friends of the opposite sex.  If me and my boyfriend/husband get into a fight, it's ok for him to call and vent to Keith and go to his house to blow off steam. However, I tell you now, i'll be DAMNED if he goes to his bff Kesha's house to blow steam and to vent after a fight.  Hell to the no!  I don't care if yall went to preschool together and had the same babysitter for 16 years, that is not ok! (wait, Tasha Mack came out)

Seeing as I have more male friends than female friends, I have taken it upon myself to set clear boundaries with them, out of respect to their girl.  I love my male friends, but as a woman, I won't call after 10pm unless it's an emergency, always speak to their girl when she's in the room over the phone or in person, and be cognizant of the advice I give them.  With the shift in friendship dynamics in regards to gender, it seems opposite-sex friendships are newly forming, however, until clear boundaries are established, it will be difficult for heterosexual men and women to be "just friends" for long.

Detroit State of Mind

I'm been working on another post that's been taking up most of my time, but I wanted to take the time to share this. 

A lot of people look at Detroit and have this negative and fearful perception of the City.  People think the youth are hopeless and the city is chaotic.  This video warms my heart as a Detroit native because I am excited for the future of these bright students.  We don't need pity, we need resources and support.  We're Detroit-made, and that means we know how to survive!

Smile Dark Girl!

  I had to share this, a must see!

Paint & Poster room at BGSU. What do you see? Some say graffiti, others like myself may see our stamp, our hand print, our small signature to let you know "we were here." This makes me miss my undergrad a lot, but more importantly it makes me appreciate the rich experience I had. This picture symbolizes creative freedom and expression. Well, get ready go see mine! :-) BG-SU!!!!!

Looking back...

Looking back, 2007 was a very stressful time for me.  I would even go as far to say I was at the brink of depression, especially during the summer.  I believe 2007 was the turning point in my college career; new group of friends, changing identity, new career path, but still mourning.  I was in a very dark place in the spring and summer of '07 and it left me feeling some kind of way when reminiscing.  


Today, I was able to find a few of the poems I wrote during those stressful times, that acted as my encouragement and a reminder that God still had not left me.  Read below.....

Pain

Look beyond my shielding mask, one factor remains
My life aint been easy I know alot about pain
Sadness
Sickness
Death
Pain
Tears
Scars
Failure
Pain
Look beyond my encouraging smile, one factor remains
My life aint been easy I know alot about pain
Wrath
Momma
Home
Pain
Wood
Debt
Fear
Pain
Look beyond my noticeable assets, one factor remains
My life aint been easy I know alot about pain
Basketball
Relationship
Christ
Pain
Friends
Sex
Lies
Pain
Look beyond my present state, one factor remains
My life aint been easy I know alot about pain
Sores
Men
Asthma
Pain
Safety
Confidence
Ugly
Pain
Look beyond my kind heart, one factor remains
My life aint been easy I know alot about pain
Health
Girls
Pride
Pain
Family
Hair
Black
Pain
Look beyond my spoiled exterior, one factor remains
My life aint been easy I know alot about pain
Humilation
Guilt
Father
Pain
Shame
Emptiness
Love
Pain
Look beyond my broken heart, one factor remains
My life aint been easy but one day I will feel no more pain

May 16, 2007

The Lord's Prayer (straight from my heart)

This is a prayer that comes from a teenager who is trying to live right...


Heavenly Father, I thank you for this day.
I thank you for waking me up this morning and starting me on my way.
I thank you for watching over me and my family through the night.
I thank you for the stars and the moon in the dark, and the beautiful sun in the light. 
I thank you or the peace of mind and serenity you give me.
I thank you for things great and small, I thank you for EVERYTHING. 
I ask you to let your will be done in all I go through today.
I'll step back and put it in your hands, here, have your way.
Please heal the sick and bless the poor, and the blind, give them sight.
So that they will know and SEE that you are the "WAY, TRUTH, and LIGHT." 
Please forgive me for all my sins, and own me again as your child.
Steer me back to you, even when I stray away for a while.
For I know I go against your word, and sleep in my bed of sin.
But now I'm surrendering my all to you, because true repentance comes from within.
And now when we've done all we could do, sang our last song, and prayed our last prayer.
I ask that you find me a place to sit around your throne, any place, anywhere.
In Jesus' mighty name I do pray.


Amen.


July 2004

One Step Closer

Child of God you must believe
Without a Shadow of a Doubt
That in this maze we call life
God's gonna find your path out.


Tho your heart is filled with pain
And feels like it's gonne bust
Don't worry about the lies you've heard
Allow your heart to again trust.


Face not your past or where you've been
But only what lies ahead
Because if you believe in your heart
That Jesus rose from the dead...


Then when your  foes & world's stress
Seem to attack
Then you can say with confidence
that God's got your back.


And when you really believe that
And those words you portray
Then you are one step closer
To making through another day.


May 29, 2007

Fighting 4 my Life

Reality hits me like a bolt of lightening,
So now I sit here all alone and for my life, I'm fighting.


Supposed to be an example for others, so I'm standing strong.
But I'm really tired of Life making cry and doing me wrong. 


Night after night I close my eyes and my heart hurts.
'Cuz my problems are sky high, I don't know where to start first.


So like JT a river  an ocean, I am crying
'Cuz of the pain of seeing my Momma and now my spirit dying. 


Wanna give up but suicide's only a cop-out.
I heard it's hot as hell in Hell, I'm not tryna find out.


Plus I hurt my fam, my friends, and sands, and kill my sister,
Cheating to see my momma just because I miss her. 


These situations that I'm facing are as big as Shrek to me.
And I've been trying not to let them get the best of me. 


But in the end, they still win because I'm crying tears, 
From life's "bumps and blows" and insecurities because of my fears. 


May 31, 2007

Upcoming posts

Birds of a feather flock together


Women in relationships, where does God fit in?


Coming soon

Hello Fear

Zip Lining... but I'm afraid of heights :-(

While facilitating a Greek retreat in the woods at a YMCA campsite, I had the opportunity to face my fears dead on.  I am afraid of heights and afraid of drowning (I can not swim), yet I managed to ride the 300 ft zip line, and go canoeing on the lake.  During both events, I was scared out of my mind and there was a small part of me that felt I was going to die.  However, I have been listening to Kirk Franklin's new CD, "Hello Fear" and it has challenged my notions of dealing with my fears.  Not wanting to be paralyzed, I challenged myself to at least stare fear in the eyes this weekend and I am very proud of myself.

Back at it!

I said this last year, but I'm serious this time.  I'm back to blogging!  In my profession, reflection is valued and feel I truly need to write more.  Sometimes I feel reflections are pointless and I'm annoyed when I have to write about my feelings, however I think it will be beneficial.


This summer I will be interning with Upward Bond and taking Higher Ed Law class, so I know I will need to express myself.


Stay tuned!

So... about that?

So yeah, the 5k ain't happening! :-(  I have class on that day and I really haven't been on that mission anymore.   I am kind of disappointed in myself, however, I will complete a 5k!


So, the purpose of this blog is to express my interest in making healthier lifestyle.  It will not be easy, but this summer, I have to do it.  I have to take control over my health before it takes over me.


Stay tuned!

Breakfast of champions... or at least me ;-)

P.J. Jones

Changes...

Another diet lifestyle change:  

• Breakfast EVERY morning (even when I'm not hungry)
• Drink 8 glasses of water a day 
• Fried foods only twice a week
• Still no fast food

I've noticed I've become too busy to eat, weird for me I know!  I wake up, get dressed for work, go to work, and sometimes don't eat after I leave class.  My days are too long for me not to eat, but as long as I don't eat breakfast, I don't get hungry.  However, I know in order to gain energy and lose weight, I have to eat to speed up my metabolism.  I'm going to try my best to eat breakfast every morning, whether it's a bowl of cereal or toast and fruit.  This will be tough but I'm up for the challenge... I think...

Gymflow

#five14
P.J. Jones

Running shoes... I'm back at it!

P.J. Jones

Diet + Exercise

Diet + Exercise= Results is not an old wive's tale, but a realistic way to effectively train.  I hate to admit it, but, I can't eat whatever I want as long as I exercise because I know I don't burn enough calories to fight off a 1/2 pound hamburger with fried egg, bacon, ham, and cheese on top with chilly cheese fries and an orange pop.  

When I say "diet" I do not mean a quick weight loss strategic, I am referring to a daily eating pattern. A healthy diet and exercise will help me train for this race.  This is not a weight loss strategy, but more of a lifestyle change.  Therefore, I'm limiting myself to fast food twice a month or in emergency situations and limiting my fried food and red meat to twice a week.  

Realistically, I love all types of food, but if I want to run this race, I can't let a mass of unhealthy food weigh me down (literally).  :-)

Tomorrow: The First Day of my new Life!

REAL Training for the 5K starts this week! I'm dreading this run, but I'm excited to start this new journey. WHEN I finish this 5k, I would've taken one step closer to living a healthier lifestyle.  If I want to live to have grandchildren, I need to start now! :-)

Week 3... Chapter 2

The course is definitely starting to pick up as far as content is concerned.  The most interesting information that I've read so far was basically discussing more about helping.  Some of the key things I took from the readings where the question of "nature" vs "nurture".  In addition, I learned more about the Three Stage Model (Hill, 2009).


The Three Stage Model consists of Exploration, Insite, and Action.

First Run

Today was the first day of training... and ... I made it though! lol  I just got these Nike Free Runner shoes and they felt great!  I ran/walked for 15 minutes and my legs definitely feel like Jello :-/  However, I'm a few steps closer to the finish line. :-) Once I figure out how to update my blog via my android, I'll upload pics and stuff.  Stay tuned!

:-)

Interventions Class- Weeks 1 & 2

The first two weeks of classes introduced me in to the Interventions class.  The terms "helper" was defined as the person who was giving assistance and the "client" is the person who receives assistance.  Within my field, I definitely see myself as a helper, especially considering I am a graduate advisor for the councils. 


So far, I'm really enjoying this class.  It is definitely sparking my interest in entering the counseling profession.

I'm running...

I've decided to join my friend Monique and run the Rite Aid 5K Marathon on May 14, 2011.  I am not a runner, nor do I enjoy it, however this challenge will be a true test of my faith.  Understanding my health is important, I'm ready to do the "unthinkable".  My training will begin this week and this blog will allow you to join me on my journey!


With your prayers and encouragement, I know I'll make it to the finish line!


:-)