Above are pictures of myself and three of my close male friends, (top) Jersey, (middle) Ceej, (lower) Kasey P. I met all of these fine gentlemen while in college at BGSU. I met Jersey the first week of my freshman year, Ceej, my Junior year, and Kasey my 2nd senior year. They have all served in big brother roles since I've met them and we have always had each other's backs... I am (and my friends are) Ride or Die! They are great men; very intelligent, goal-oriented and Black men on a mission to achieve greatness.
We have never ever kissed, touched, rubbed, flirted, none of that and I am 98.72% sure that we never will in this lifetime. I know most people probably say "eventually, one of them will catch feelings and want to take the friendship to another level" or "that's my 'best friend/brother' which 89.4% of the time translates to an F- buddy" when thinking of heterosexual men and women being "just friends". Such statements are true, but I'm here to break the mold.
Based on empirical evidence (mainly from myself), heterosexual men and women CAN be "just friends". Thinking about it in a different context, men and women can be friends, strictly platonic, however the real question is "how long can heterosexual men and women be friends?"
I say this because ideally, we would get married and our friendships would have to change. Disregarding the notion that men and women cannot be "just friends" and movies like Brown Sugar, Love and Basketball, even in situations where both parties are secure, opposite sex friendships must alter out of respect to the other partner. The opposite sex "best friend"has to go or fall back once the relationship thickens. Once we are married, our spouses our to be our best friends of the opposite sex. If me and my boyfriend/husband get into a fight, it's ok for him to call and vent to Keith and go to his house to blow off steam. However, I tell you now, i'll be DAMNED if he goes to his bff Kesha's house to blow steam and to vent after a fight. Hell to the no! I don't care if yall went to preschool together and had the same babysitter for 16 years, that is not ok! (wait, Tasha Mack came out)
Seeing as I have more male friends than female friends, I have taken it upon myself to set clear boundaries with them, out of respect to their girl. I love my male friends, but as a woman, I won't call after 10pm unless it's an emergency, always speak to their girl when she's in the room over the phone or in person, and be cognizant of the advice I give them. With the shift in friendship dynamics in regards to gender, it seems opposite-sex friendships are newly forming, however, until clear boundaries are established, it will be difficult for heterosexual men and women to be "just friends" for long.
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