Smile Dark Girl!

  I had to share this, a must see!

Paint & Poster room at BGSU. What do you see? Some say graffiti, others like myself may see our stamp, our hand print, our small signature to let you know "we were here." This makes me miss my undergrad a lot, but more importantly it makes me appreciate the rich experience I had. This picture symbolizes creative freedom and expression. Well, get ready go see mine! :-) BG-SU!!!!!

Looking back...

Looking back, 2007 was a very stressful time for me.  I would even go as far to say I was at the brink of depression, especially during the summer.  I believe 2007 was the turning point in my college career; new group of friends, changing identity, new career path, but still mourning.  I was in a very dark place in the spring and summer of '07 and it left me feeling some kind of way when reminiscing.  


Today, I was able to find a few of the poems I wrote during those stressful times, that acted as my encouragement and a reminder that God still had not left me.  Read below.....

Pain

Look beyond my shielding mask, one factor remains
My life aint been easy I know alot about pain
Sadness
Sickness
Death
Pain
Tears
Scars
Failure
Pain
Look beyond my encouraging smile, one factor remains
My life aint been easy I know alot about pain
Wrath
Momma
Home
Pain
Wood
Debt
Fear
Pain
Look beyond my noticeable assets, one factor remains
My life aint been easy I know alot about pain
Basketball
Relationship
Christ
Pain
Friends
Sex
Lies
Pain
Look beyond my present state, one factor remains
My life aint been easy I know alot about pain
Sores
Men
Asthma
Pain
Safety
Confidence
Ugly
Pain
Look beyond my kind heart, one factor remains
My life aint been easy I know alot about pain
Health
Girls
Pride
Pain
Family
Hair
Black
Pain
Look beyond my spoiled exterior, one factor remains
My life aint been easy I know alot about pain
Humilation
Guilt
Father
Pain
Shame
Emptiness
Love
Pain
Look beyond my broken heart, one factor remains
My life aint been easy but one day I will feel no more pain

May 16, 2007

The Lord's Prayer (straight from my heart)

This is a prayer that comes from a teenager who is trying to live right...


Heavenly Father, I thank you for this day.
I thank you for waking me up this morning and starting me on my way.
I thank you for watching over me and my family through the night.
I thank you for the stars and the moon in the dark, and the beautiful sun in the light. 
I thank you or the peace of mind and serenity you give me.
I thank you for things great and small, I thank you for EVERYTHING. 
I ask you to let your will be done in all I go through today.
I'll step back and put it in your hands, here, have your way.
Please heal the sick and bless the poor, and the blind, give them sight.
So that they will know and SEE that you are the "WAY, TRUTH, and LIGHT." 
Please forgive me for all my sins, and own me again as your child.
Steer me back to you, even when I stray away for a while.
For I know I go against your word, and sleep in my bed of sin.
But now I'm surrendering my all to you, because true repentance comes from within.
And now when we've done all we could do, sang our last song, and prayed our last prayer.
I ask that you find me a place to sit around your throne, any place, anywhere.
In Jesus' mighty name I do pray.


Amen.


July 2004

One Step Closer

Child of God you must believe
Without a Shadow of a Doubt
That in this maze we call life
God's gonna find your path out.


Tho your heart is filled with pain
And feels like it's gonne bust
Don't worry about the lies you've heard
Allow your heart to again trust.


Face not your past or where you've been
But only what lies ahead
Because if you believe in your heart
That Jesus rose from the dead...


Then when your  foes & world's stress
Seem to attack
Then you can say with confidence
that God's got your back.


And when you really believe that
And those words you portray
Then you are one step closer
To making through another day.


May 29, 2007

Fighting 4 my Life

Reality hits me like a bolt of lightening,
So now I sit here all alone and for my life, I'm fighting.


Supposed to be an example for others, so I'm standing strong.
But I'm really tired of Life making cry and doing me wrong. 


Night after night I close my eyes and my heart hurts.
'Cuz my problems are sky high, I don't know where to start first.


So like JT a river  an ocean, I am crying
'Cuz of the pain of seeing my Momma and now my spirit dying. 


Wanna give up but suicide's only a cop-out.
I heard it's hot as hell in Hell, I'm not tryna find out.


Plus I hurt my fam, my friends, and sands, and kill my sister,
Cheating to see my momma just because I miss her. 


These situations that I'm facing are as big as Shrek to me.
And I've been trying not to let them get the best of me. 


But in the end, they still win because I'm crying tears, 
From life's "bumps and blows" and insecurities because of my fears. 


May 31, 2007

Upcoming posts

Birds of a feather flock together


Women in relationships, where does God fit in?


Coming soon

Hello Fear

Zip Lining... but I'm afraid of heights :-(

While facilitating a Greek retreat in the woods at a YMCA campsite, I had the opportunity to face my fears dead on.  I am afraid of heights and afraid of drowning (I can not swim), yet I managed to ride the 300 ft zip line, and go canoeing on the lake.  During both events, I was scared out of my mind and there was a small part of me that felt I was going to die.  However, I have been listening to Kirk Franklin's new CD, "Hello Fear" and it has challenged my notions of dealing with my fears.  Not wanting to be paralyzed, I challenged myself to at least stare fear in the eyes this weekend and I am very proud of myself.